Moms and Dads!  Bring the whole family to Universal Orlando Resort!

There's lots to do, like Fear Factor Live! (whatever the hell that is.)

Or Shrek and Donkey, wearing 3-D glasses and swinging on a chain!
(I'm guessing they show 3-D movies or something.) 

Or how about putting KISS makeup on the whole family, and then climbing in the pool?
(Note that Dad's making the "I love you" sign language gesture,
rather than the "Devil Horns."

Good lord.